Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
