I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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