its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
