So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
