he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
