i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
