I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
