At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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