just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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