And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
They took my balls.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
