Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
