Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
