he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
