Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
