We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
