I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
