I want to stick my p in your. b.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
