I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
