you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
