Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
