The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize