just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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