Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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