Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize