Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
