whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
