Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
