Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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