May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
