Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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