She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
