Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
