I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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