when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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