There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
