definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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