they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
