It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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