i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
