Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
