mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
