I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
