I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
