$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
