what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
