I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
