I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
