what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
