Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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