i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
