I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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