I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I can't put those talents on a resume
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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