Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
