i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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