So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Of course I have a pirate flag
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
