She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
