it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my poor anus
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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