those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Green mimosas i think yes
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize