Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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