just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
